As we indicated in the feature article in this issue, the decision to
drop out of sports can be very emotional for the child and the parents. How do you, as
parents, handle it? Because every situation is different there are a wide variety of
answers. Presented below are two viewpoints, both written by former athletes who are now
coaching at the college level.
What to do when your child quits a sports team. by Megan Brenner
Some of the proudest moments for parents are standing on the sidelines
watching their children participating in athletic contests or practices. Unfortunately,
your child may become disinterested for a variety of reasons and quit a team. As a parent,
anger and frustration may ensue, especially if your child is very talented. It is
important to find the root of the problem and discuss it with your youngster. He may have
quit in a tantrum at a game or practice because of a certain referee or coach's decision.
In this case, your child may simply need to calm down and have the situation re-assessed
in order for him to understand that quitting may not be the correct decision. Your child
may have also had negative social encounters with team members on or off of the field
which contributed to his disinterest in the game. It could be a case of low self-esteem
reinforced by coaches or peers, or simply boredom of the sport. In each case, it is
important as parents to evaluate the situations which led to your child's decision to
quit. It may simply be that he is no longer happy playing a particular sport, and may wish
to try something new. Look for signs of disinterest and keep involved in your child's
athletic endeavors.
Parental Pressure on the Young Athlete. by Brent Pry
So often parents are criticized for pressuring their children to compete
in athletics. The story is usually that if a parent puts pressure on their child to
participate or "not to quit", the end result will be an increase in the child's
distaste for the sport. In many cases this is probably true. However, the opposite is
likely to be true just as often. The opposite being that pressure applied by the parent is
beneficial to the young athlete, and keeps he or she participating. Frequently athletes
feel gratitude towards their parents and their efforts in pushing them through the tough
times and not letting them quit. This is especially true when the athlete has achieved
some degree of success in their sport, or it has been a rewarding experience for them.
Certainly, there is a fine line as to where this pressure should be applied. Each parent,
each child, and each situation is different, and should be handled as such. This article
merely argues that a parent should not always rule out using some degree of pressure when
wanting to encourage their child to compete. Remember competition is everywhere in life
and today's young people will benefit by experiencing it early. Athletics give children an
opportunity to learn the competitive spirit. If it is in the child's best interest, and
not the parents, some pressure would be considered positive.
